Is your business ‘First Class BA’ or ‘Cattle Class EasyChav’?

Normally in the Lowedown, I will usually recount what I hope is a mildly entertaining event from my own experience to illustrate whatever particular idea I’m trying to get across … but last week when I flew to Italy, I had the misfortune to witness first hand the near perfect example of exactly how NOT to do just about EVERYTHING … and, put simply … if you run your own business like this bunch of clowns it’s only going to go one way…

Now, obviously something went a bit wrong right from the the start, as you would expect when flying this particular airline. Now, I know the chaps with briefcases like me to change the name so I don’t upset anybody … so with this in mind let’s call the airline … EasyChav

So… after we, the unwilling herd, had been assembled at the starting blocks (don’t forget that EasyChav don’t bother allocating seats, so you have to run and push people aside, somewhat like a bus, or more like those Indian trains with people on the roof) they announced a short delay …  Much to the dismay of the kind and generous souls who had elbowed and kicked the lame, old and infirm aside to get to the front of the queue … and who now cannot give up their pole position by sitting back down.

The delay lasted an hour…the reason being, they had nobody to fly the plane. Evidently through some quirk of cretinous planning, they actually have more planes than flight crews (why would you do that?  …  think about it, its daft given how much it costs just to park a plane at an airport) … Anyway, there is our plane, sat on the runway with the crew sprinting from the other side of the airport where their last flight has just touched down….

When I eventually got on board a steward told me, whilst finding me a fat belt (bright orange, for two reasons naturally) that they had to change planes again at Verona and fly another one somewhere else. Airports must be just littered with abandoned orange planes waiting for somebody to come and fly them.

Which bodes the question … how can this outfit, who it seems can’t consistently manage to have the crew in the same country as the plane … actually manage to get access to the plane – are there keys? … Or could any perma-tanned halfwit in a uniform just waltz in and nick it?

And why no allocated seats? … They still have to check you in and print boarding cards so there is no cost saving…it’s just a Stelios ploy to make it feel cheap, which, as it turns out, it’s not even that…

You see, BA were actually cheaper but full because of half term, and there would have been none of the abject buffoonery I’ve had to recount here. It’s only the third time in 15 years I’ve flown with ‘EasyChav’ and it will be at least another 5 years before I forget and give it another go … rudderless shower.

Anyway, whilst I would encourage you to steer clear of all things orange, I would instead suggest it would be very much in your interest for you to spend some time with a couple of small yellow things…

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Until Next Time,

Tim Lowe
Publisher, Tim’s Business Lowe Down

Tim Lowe