I’ve got a slight confession to make … Warning: involves partial nudity, potential burglary and dairy products…

I’ve been making so many trips to Scotland recently that I’ve decided I need some sort of ‘helper’… and it’s not for the reason you might think…

I need a helper because, for the second time in a week, I’d got involved in operating something alien and for which I’d never been trained to use … or even knew how to turn on (I am of course referring to an iron). However, whilst waiting for the ghastly steam spitting contraption to get hot I took it into my head to eat my breakfast outside, and that’s when all the ‘fun’ began…

You see, when I’m  ‘North of the Wall’ I stay with friends who live somewhere quite remote and very beautiful, with the only passers-by usually consisting of the local wildlife. My ‘hosts’ (perhaps ‘wardens’ might be a better word) think nothing of leaving me all alone to cope with the strange electric gates that don’t seem to want to open for me, as well trying to communicate with the curiously incomprehensible local folk…

…the slight issue here was that they never actually told me there was a man who looked exactly like a burglar coming to paint the office door … and if they had, I wouldn’t have been standing in the sunshine eating my yoghurt with no clothes on as he arrived…

For some strange reason, all this man did was skulk behind the car and refuse to ‘explain himself’ when questioned by a naked chap holding a yoghurt – which seemed a little odd. After all, I ‘almost’ lived there and he didn’t.

I was left asking myself why my ‘hosts’ would not lock the back door when they left at dawn since they always warn me about not opening windows letting ‘animals’ in?

Well, on this occasion it wasn’t animals I was worried about … it was the marauding surly workman waving his paintbrush at me that disturbed my breakfast … though I should mention that yes, I did stand there and finish my breakfast … and no, I didn’t get dressed until I had.

Of course, I didn’t write this just to tell you this (though I’m sure many of you found it quite amusing) but also to ask you to keep a special eye on your inboxes in the very near future as I’ll be telling you more about ‘the next big thing’ that could be very much to your advantage…  (if you don’t already get regular emails from me – you can join the thousands of readers who do by simply entering your details over there on the right)

All The Best,

Tim Lowe

Publisher, Tim’s Business Lowe Down

Head Minion