Now here’s the thing, I’ve been publishing this newsletter, or its predecessors for over 18 years and have often given particular advice around this time of year.
Sadly, too few people have followed that advice so today I feel like being a little blunt.
People nearly always ask me for ‘a formula’ and I dutifully conceive formulas and strategies with entirely predictable outcomes, which by and large people like whilst happily accepting the notion that if you carry out exactly the same actions as another person you might reasonably expect the same outcome as they got. Which is of course true.
However, people are searching for these formulas for a positive outcome, like earning a bigger income, but entirely forget the essential truth that negative predictable outcomes also exist…if you keep hitting your thumb with a hammer it will keep turning blue and hurting, in other words, they plainly forget that doing the same things they’ve always done will yield the same outcome they’ve always had – both good and bad.
So, for some blunt words…if you have something, or just as often, somebody, getting in the way of you doing things which you believe will result in the positive outcome you seek then you will fail unless you change the thing that’s in the way first.
How many of us have a spouse or ‘friends’ who nag, moan and belittle our plans and get in the way of us achieving results which, if they would just shut up, would almost certainly end up with a bounty which would be shared with them?
All the time old ‘moaning Minnie’ is whining away in the background are you really going to pursue your goals and get the outcome you are looking for?
I’m very lucky that, despite my humorous nickname for her, ‘She who must be obeyed’ is, in fact, my greatest supporter and has almost never shown doubt or ever tried to stop me doing anything I thought was worthwhile. We’ve been together for 27 years and of course, we’ve had many rows but she’s never, ever got in the way.
She’s supported us when I was out of work, helped me start my business, stuffed tens of thousands of envelopes for mailings, stuck on thousands of stamps, worked her own job and then worked with me long into the night, ferried me to and from meetings and airports when I’ve been too tired to drive, cooked for me in the middle of the night when I’ve got in from days longer than anybody ought sensibly to work and generally been nothing but loyal and supportive.
Of late, despite clearly not needing to, she’s been more than willing to work in other businesses I’ve invested in, when those who should be there are simply not up to scratch and will give up holidays or other special times to do what she and I both agree is ‘the right thing’.
As a result of this amazing teamwork, we’ve prospered greatly.
One thing is absolutely certain though, on my own I might have achieved similar results, BUT had she been like so many people I’ve met and deliberately Got In The Way of me doing what needed doing then sooner or later, no matter how determined or talented I was, I would most likely have failed.
I once got into a lot of trouble with a man and his wife at a workshop I was speaking at when the man told me his wife was opposed to him being there and was actively sabotaging his efforts (changing computer passwords and hiding things he needed etc) to such an extent that he wanted me to try and convince her that he could succeed if he simply followed my advice as she wouldn’t believe him.
She was an unpleasant scowling creature who was immediately confrontational and awkward, demanding that I explain exactly what he needed to do to succeed. I rather tactlessly said that his first step would have to be changing his wife!!
I was obviously far from popular…but I think I was right nonetheless
…and just to be clear, my comments are not aimed at women, I’ve had the exact same situation with women whose husbands Get In The Way too and my advice would be identical.
In a nutshell, if you have something on your mind or somebody on your back the whole time you simply cannot succeed until you offload that burden and become positive about what you’re doing.
Sometimes that means, whether my comments are palatable or not, you simply have to choose between pursuing your dreams alone or abandoning them to keep Moaning Minnie quiet!!
Publisher, Tim’s Business Lowe Down